The man is mad!

 

There is no doubt about it, himself is mad. He has been having one of his funny periods during which he dunks us all and sticks needles in us. He said it was because there have been some kind of bugs in our pen. Ok, then why doesnít he dunk the bugs and stick needles in them? He reckons he has for he has sprayed the pen out with a special spray each time he has mucked us out. Even the nice lady vet, whom we thought was on our side, has supplied the necessary medicine to inflict this terrible treatment upon us.††

 

If that wasnít enough to put us through, his friend in San Diego sent him some more tapes of jazz so we have had both our ears and our eyes subjected to that.Our eyes?Well, he has this very nasty habit of putting these tapes on when he has a bath and unlike any normal human animal, he seldom dries himself and puts on his bathrobe in the bathroom, he tends to come back into the living room and dance and cavort about, and this is even before he has any of the amber liquid.Fine, we could understand it if he was out of his skull, but I ask you, sober and fresh from a bath!

 

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It is not a very pleasant sight for ladies of our refinement, particularly when it coincides with our carrot time, which it often does. I mean just think of it from our point of view and our line of sight. No, we wonít draw you a picture, you may all be eating while you are reading this, and why should we inflict what we are going through in such detail upon our readers.

 

Even Olga de Polka, who was staying with us last week, remarked upon it and assured us that this kind of thing never happens in the Bond household. So it looks that this kind of behaviour is unique to our own human. I wonder if we could get him to have therapy for this problem he has of thinking that displaying his bits and pieces to innocent young ladies like us is at all enjoyable to us and what he has isnít at all impressive, of that we can firmly state.

 

We have all come to the conclusion that living with humans can be a kind of an equivocal existence. Itís nice not to have go out forage for our food but lousy to have to see them in the flesh, so to speak. Itís great to not have to bother about the weather outside but a bit of a bind to have to listen to the funny sounds they make and like to listen to.

 

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